The torment and the ones who suffer it
by tearbos
Summary: This is a little vignette based on the episode "Elephant's Memory." There are a few small spoilers. Reid/Emily.


**Disclamer: these wonderful characters will never be mine. I'm trying to accept that.**

Emily pushed the door closed and leaned against it briefly, closing her eyes and letting out a sigh. Slowly she took a few steps forward and studied the figure in front of her. He stood facing the window, staring out at the illuminated D.C. skyline. After leaving the Texas police station late in the afternoon, he'd barely spoken a sentence. He remained still, hands in his pockets, as she moved toward him quietly. She set her bag on the sleek black coffee table without breaking her stride. She approached him and wrapped her arms around his thin waist. She buried her face into his cashmere-clad shoulder and inhaled his scent. His only response was to move his hands to meet hers and press against them gently.

She indulged in the feeling of him in her arms, the soft fabric touching her skin, the faint salty smell lingering on his body. The twinkling city lights reflected around the dark room in tiny pinpricks, bouncing off of his hair and the side of his face. _He's never looked more beautiful than he does right now._ The idea of breaking the silent calm surrounding them was unappealing, but she knew the issue had to be addressed, and soon rather than later. She took a deep breath to keep her voice calm and soothing.

"Morgan says that we need to talk." Her hope was that he would make the next move, but he didn't even acknowledge her words. _Ok, well I'll try again. _"He said that I would understand better why you did what you did today…" Still no response. "You scared the hell out of me, Spence. I understand to a point but…"

She felt his body tense against her arms, and the deep sigh that emanated from him reverberated through his entire frame. He was silent for so long she didn't think he would respond, but she hoped he'd talk without her having to push any further._ Please Spence…_

"I was eleven…it was a week before the end of my sophomore year…" his voice was so quiet and strained that she had to concentrate carefully to pick up the words. As he continued, his voice cracked and his body trembled; she instinctively pulled him closer but didn't speak. "I was in the library…" She listened with growing horror as he continued his story through choked sobs and shaking breaths. "Finally, after everyone left, I managed to get loose. It was dusk; the sky was almost completely dark. The field lights were off, and I couldn't…I couldn't see where they tossed my clothes…I found my bag after a few minutes, but that was it. I just…started walking. Usually I rode the bus, or my mom would pick me up if she was having a good day. My house was almost three miles from school, mostly alleys and side streets along the way. There was a bus stop half a mile into the route, but in that area the buses didn't run late. So…"

"What happened?" She prompted gently when his broken tone stopped mid-sentence.

"I just…walked. Three miles, in the dark, alone…I was terrified…I had all of these…horrible ideas…running through my mind the whole time. Vegas isn't known for being a safe place, especially at night. But I didn't have a choice so…I just…walked. My mom, she was…not doing well. She never even heard me come in. I took a shower and got dressed, then I went to check on her. She…" He paused and shook his head, "she asked me what I brought for lunch. She had no idea what time it was."

"You never told her anything?"

"I didn't see the point. I just wanted to put it out of my mind. When I went to school the next day, my afternoon teacher asked why I missed class. I told her I got sick and went home early. They all knew that calling my mom was pointless so they accepted it."

"No one said anything to you about what happened? Your teachers didn't suspect or no one bragged about it?"

"This wasn't the last "incident" of course, but it was the most public. The teachers and principal tried to keep an eye on me, they really did. But, they just couldn't be around all the time. Before my dad left, the principal said the same things we heard the past couple of days: "bulling is a part of life", "they work it out themselves", all of the usual sayings. He told my parents it would make me tougher. Once my dad left, I guess he felt a little sorry for me so he tried to sick up for me occasionally."

She didn't know what to say, so she just tightened her grip around him. He let out a whisper of a laugh and squeezed her hands. Then he pulled away and turned to face her. They threaded fingers and he leaned his forehead against hers. "Thank you," he spoke in a soft, emotion-filled voice.

"For what babe?" She couldn't imagine what he could be thanking her for.

"For listening, for being here, for loving me."

She grinned and pressed her lips softly against his. "Anytime babe, you know that."

"I know," he responded, and then he pushed back on her lips. After a minute she pulled back a little to look him in the eyes.

"You really did scare me honey. I get why you did that, and I can't say I wouldn't have tried the same thing. Just please, give me some warning next time so I can prepare for what you're going to do."

"I knew you had me covered," he replied with a slightly mischievous grin. She released one of his hands and swatted him lightly on the arm.

"Yeah, well next time you decide to be heroic just let your backups know, ok?"

"Ok, I promise."

"I really thought he was going to shoot you for a moment."

"I did too," he confessed.

"What?" She couldn't believe her ears. _He'd seemed so sure of himself._

"When he reached into his pocket to check for the necklace, I knew I made a mistake. I closed my eyes and waited for the shot. I'm still surprised that he listened to me."

"Well, you aren't one of the best profilers on the best team of profilers in the world for nothing!" She smiled and kissed him again.

"True," he grinned also and returned the kiss.

"But, if you EVER, and I mean this, ever do that to me again, I will seriously hurt you."

"Really?" He raised his eyebrow at her curiously.

"Yes," she replied, and winked at him. "You will be in big trouble mister."

"Hmm, well I think you better reinforce the idea for me, to make sure I don't forget."

"Trust me, when I'm through you won't possibly be able to forget," she whispered as she grabbed his tie and pulled him to her.


End file.
